waiting for the hand that fits mine...waiting for the one...

an ODE from an Indi movie, Rome and Juliet

Rome and Juliet. 2006.

Rome —

Living life doesn’t mean that you have to do things right
to have eternal life after death
Living life would mean that you have to live it the way you want it
The way you think is right.
What am I babbling about?
SHE is the only reason for this, just Her(God).
Then why is God’s definition of love so different from everyone else’s?
How can it be so different from mine?
When we all know that it simply…feels good…to love.
See, everything about me, my whole body, my mind, my heart,
my soul, my whole being, points out to this person
and tells me that what I’m feeling is not a lie.
How can that be so bad in the eyes of so many?
And in the eyes of God?
I just…don’t get it.

I was thinking maybe it would have been better and easier…
if it was someone else.
But the thing is—-it’s not.
But why does it have to be her?
Why does it have to be ONLY her?

I just want one day…to be with her.
Just one day. That is all.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
I just want to be able to live that moment again.
To let my heart feel an overflow of emotions.
I want to feel intensity flowing into our bodies, releasing on our fingertips.
Is that too much to ask?
Just one more day.

Please? Can I?

Juliet —

Does one need just a day to prove eternal love?
To express a love that is exceptionally unexplainable?Are you ready for a love that I feel for you?

will you come with me?

I ‘m on my way traveling on this road alone now,

Kissed goodbye to what should be left behind

I feel a different wind touching my face now,

And all I have with me is you in my mind.

Everything is not easy but this is so real now,

I will not hide from myself and to my heart I’ll be kind

I don’t know where this will bring me now,

All I am sure of is I want to be free from being blind

It’s the first time to feel this way and I’m ready to show you now

I will not force you but babe just try to open up your mind

I did; and I’m not confused anymore, so here I am now

this won’t be long, I just want you to see what I tried to find

Take my hands and I will guide you there now

I will take you to a place where nobody will know us

A place where we can both stay and live together come what may…

This is not so wrong if you just give it a chance

I was so scared then, and I had no choice but to lie

Promise you I’ll never lie again and that will just be once

Don’t be afraid nor doubt me, I will never make you cry

So come hold and follow me and just give one glance

I won’t expect you to walk with me or push you, just try

Remove the worries of your heart and together we will dance

I will not let go of you until you really want to say goodbye

This may be once in a lifetime so come and feel my assurance

In my arms I will hold and keep you but I’ll still let you fly

You’ll never be alone again and I’ll never neglect your importance

I’ll embrace you warmly when you’re afraid of the storm or dark sky

Almost there,but if you want me to stop,I’ll just love you from a distance

Come now, I will take you to a place where nobody will know us

A place where we can both stay and live together come what may…

I am almost there; for me to continue depends on you…

Will you come with me?

SUNSHINE

"Sunshine"
(Gabrielle)

Made a wish, I can dream
I can be what I want to be
Not afraid to live my life
And fulfil my fantasies

I learnt a lot of tricks to help me live my life
You helped me find my paradise
When you came you were like

Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel
I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

Reaching out, for the highs
You inspired me to try
I felt the magic inside
And I felt that I could fly
I'm looking at the world in an optimistic light
You made me appreciate my life
'Cos when you came you were like

Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel
I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

You are the calm
I am the storm
You are the breeze that carries me on
When I set adrift
You wink at me
You're there for me

Sunshine (oh yeah)
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me that I'll go far
Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star

(Sunshine) Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me that I'll go far
Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me that I'll go far
Sunshine
My star, my star...

this force called LOVE

I am afraid of this feeling,

Which I have been ignoring...

A great force I resist and try not to uphold,

not only once but a thousand fold

Each thought of you, sinks into me,

every time I feel how strong this force could be

I gotta move and I just know that I should

It’s an unstoppable force...

And it bewilders me or makes me confused,

Though I know the direction, still I am lost

I get lost and drown in your ways…

When we talk, I pretend and hide what’s inside

I step back and try to turn around,

But each time I do, it draws me back to you.

And so I close my eyes and put a facade,

but this energy, this unstoppable force,

it brings a kaleidoscope of you in my mind,

every color, every angle, every shape,

every twist and every turn and every move,

there is nothing I see, nothing at all but you

Please, I don’t want to name it and ratify,

I don’t want to define or search more of it,

My inner strength battles with this force,

But it loses, I lose, I surrender, but I escape…

Then I get captured in your fortress and I collapse,

in a dream and fantasy that I slip away from

An imaginary cloud lifts me up so high…

It floats me to a different height and then I falter,

For it brings me back closer to you,

This force pushes me more and towards to you,

It pushes me and I struggle to pull back,

It’s a tug o' war of my sanity and emotion,

A fist fight of my desire and what is right

And the manifestation of all these are my tears…

Tears of fear, tears for someone that I can never keep.

It’s a gamble and the prize overwhelms me,

For in my life, I can either lose or keep you,

Though I would still prefer the latter,

The former may keep me alive, but leave me lifeless…

It is a strong force and it scares me,

A silent force that keeps me going closer…

I don’t blame you; you are not at fault,

Since your existence in my world and my life,

was once a reason and a cause, why I survived the misery.

This strong force is like a midnight song,

Beautiful yet its sound is like a distant sad melody;

Impossible to be heard, impossible to be understood.

So, if I face you, If I declare and confess the truth,

would you understand me, what I’d say and still stay?

Or would you think I'm queer and it’s wrong or bizarre,

and decide to elude or leave me and walk away?

This is an unstoppable force; it brings me to you,

It is a strong force, it made me fall for you…

The same strong force that may lead to losing you.

Ode of a Soundless Love

I feel a soft beat coming from my heart,
It whispers out your name but I try to shut the thought…
Like the silent seas at dawn, I fear this silent feelings,
Gentle as the mild breeze in spring, yet as strong as the autumn wind,
Your serene  way touches my senses, and my confusion begins…
Though so delicate and dainty, it will be outshone by your beauty.

So I embrace this sweet madness and kiss the advent pain,
I can endure our distance, but not your prolonged absence;
It travels a thousand miles; embraces my fragile state of being
Every glance on your photographs, gives a shiver to my bones…
My heart beats faster and I withdraw from the agony,
I blow secret rose petals and wish for it to touch you somehow,
Enclosed herewith, is my concealed profound love for you.

 I close my eyes and search for the memory of your face,
And in my imagination I touch your silky hair…
I then weave a satin dream of just you and me,
Alas! Like cobwebs, one teardrop can break the lovely spell…
When I wake up to reality, it’s clear I have no grasp of you,
So let this love remain in my heart, and let it just hide deep within…

Pink Margarita

I hold this margarita glass,

I stare at the pink liquid inside,

I take a sip and taste the sweetness,

And I say, “this is me,

This is what I should be”,

Then, I must escape from you…

You are a margarita glass,

You are the pink liquid inside,

You have the sweetness too,

And I speak to myself, “this is you.

This is what I also am”,

Then, must I escape from you?

We are the margarita glass,

We are the pink liquid inside,

We both have this taste of sweetness,

And I just know, that I have to escape from you…

With every sip and every taste and every sweetness,

I think of you, tears drop for you...

With every sip and every taste and every sweetness,

Still do not give me the courage and the voice,

to express and confess every pouring love for you…

if I break this margarita glass,

if I pour this pink liquid,

but still embrace and linger on the sweetness,

then I will not have to escape from you…

if I face my courage and have the voice,

if I express and confess every pouring love for you,

will you still embrace the sweet aftertaste that lingers?
No. I know that you will escape and run away from me...

Sweet Pink Margarita lingers on me...
So, I whisper to myself, "I need to escape now from you..."